Dear Tradehome Shoes..
I realized something about you today, while in your store. I get that women probably make up the majority of your sales dynamic. So, it's very clever on your part to hire only really attractive men as salesmen. Seriously.. not one slacker on the premises.. but honestly.. must they crawl over each other to get a sale?
Yes, I realized I had sandals on today.. yes.. I know it's winter.. and to answer your question about "what if you get stranded somewhere?"....well then I guess I hope one of your handsome bastards come to the rescue, bearing shoes... or I pull a Jack Torrance, at the end of The Shining. Either way..I'm not sure what the big gorgeous beast was thinking when he brought out these AWFUL winter shoe-boots, that I simply MUST try on. And how many ways can I say no, before he fucks off and bugs someone else? I'm really not sure how much clearer I could have made it that I wasn't shopping for shoes for myself.
Thanks though, if I'm ever feeling a bit insecure or need validation..I'll stop by again and try those god awful shoe boots on.
2 comments:
Sandals in the winter!?!?!?
C'mon!!
Wear some stylish, yet warm boots.
Upon further rumination I came up with this. You need to stop wearing sandals in the winter. What if you got frostbite and lost a toe? I know, you still have 9 toes left but I'll bet you didn't consider this. I'm sure you don't remember Cardinal pitcher Curt Simmons, he retired before you were born, but here's the thing about him you shold know. Due to bizarre gardening accident he lost a toe or two. Now he was a pretty good pitcher but after the accident he was always referred to as the pitcher who lost some toes. No mention of his on field accomplishments just always as being toe deficient. Now imagine if you, due to your winter sandal wearing habit, were to lose a toe. You would no longer be known as the woman with the great movie knowledge, the women with the political views, the woman with a wide range of knowledge on a variety of arcane subjects but you would become the 9 toed woman When brought up in conversation people would say,
'Oh,the 9 toed one?" See what I mean?For the sake of your legacy, start wearing warm boots!
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